The Old Me

I want to be that girl who goes off to a foreign land (so to speak) and comes back a completely different person. I want to be known as anorexy-Jessie again. But I want to do it in a healthy way. I'm not one to tell people my weight or my measurements or my BMI, but I want to post it online so I can hold myself accountable. I need to change.

I've been on Insanity for one week now and haven't lost any weight. BUT I am consuming about twice as much water as I normally do, so I hope I am just carrying around water weight. (fingers crossed).

Here are my measurements as of tonight:

Waist: 40.5"

Hips: 46"

Right below breasts: 37"

Breasts: 39" (wow, my boobs are only 2", depressing)

Upper Right Thigh: 30"

Upper Left Thigh: 30"

Left Calf: 16"

Right Calf: 17"

Neck: 15"

Left Upper Arm: 14.25"

Right Upper Arm: 15"

Watching the half-ton mom on TLC tonight - what an inspiring story!

The Truth

I just finished "Georgia Rule." It's a movie that I've been wanting to see for a long, LONG time so in lieu of LiLo's recent arrest warrant, I thought it might be a good time to watch it. I would highly recommend this movie - VERY moving! Definitely some pretty janky issues, but it had a good message about truth and honesty and love.

Truthfully, I am so ready to move out this state. But honestly, I'm sad that no one will even miss me. No doubt my family (hopefully) will. Well, who even knows about that. Jacy, who knew I was staying in tonight and had unofficially made plans to stay home with me, chose to hang out with her friends instead of me. She claims that she wants to start crying every time I mention moving, but you'd think someone who would really miss me would want to be around me. Do I smell funny (quick armpit sniff)? I don't think so. Okay, so Jacy's ditching me, but where are my friends? I'm moving in less than ONE MONTH and only one friend, ONE FRIEND asked me to hang out tonight. But I politely declined because I thought I was going to stay in with my sister. I know I haven't been the greatest friend, but by GOD if I knew one of my best friends was leaving town I would try to spend as much time as possible with him or her. (Case in point - Heather - I didn't want to miss one minute spending as much time as possible with her when I found out she was heading home.) I don't feel like I should be the one making 100 percent of the effort.

I kind of figured that at some point in my life my friend would leave me. But I didn't know it would happen so quickly.

Such is life after college.

Today's Eats - 5/20/10

I went to HyVee today and got all sorts of healthy stuff. Ninety-odd dollars worth, actually. But I'm okay with it because I'm going to stop eating fast food! NO MORE!

Today's Log:

Breakfast-1 slice of multigrain 45-cal bread, 1 tbsp of peanut butter, one Weight Watchers shake

Lunch-Salmon burger, 1 whole-grain flatbread, salad with 2 tbsp Balsamic vinaigrette, two pita chips with hummus spread

I'm still trying to decide what to have for supper. At four, I'm heading to the Home Ec building on East Campus to do a little sewing! :)

PS - For supper I had a delicious Subway Oven Roasted Chicken Breast with some Baked! Lays. Yum!

Stop Making Excuses

I'm done with excuses. I have no excuses to make anymore. I'm not too tired to workout because of school anymore. There's no reason I can't afford healthy groceries. I have the same face shape and the same eyes as Ginnifer Goodwin and there is absolutely no reason that I can't look like her.

I'm also done making excuses for what I really want to do in life. I haven't quite decided what I want to do with my life, but I met a girl the other day who said she would help me pattern-make and sew. That's always been something I've wanted to do! Sooo, I'm going to frickin' do it!

NO MORE EXCUSES!

Week One

It's been a week and a few days since I graduated from college. To be honest, I won't miss college at all. Had my advisors not screwed me up so badly, I would have tried to get out of here as quickly as possible. College made me develop some of the worst habits in the world.

In high school, the nearest McDonald's was 20 minutes away. The only "bad" eating I did up until age 18 was when my mom would cook her famous cheesy mashed potatoes or O'Henry bars. Even though I ate those "bad" foods, I typically put in two hour work outs Monday-Friday with volleyball, basketball and track. But when I came to college, I indulged in the worst foods possible. With late-night runs to Taco Bell, utter laziness and getting on the birth control shot, I managed to pack on 60 pounds. Actually, after five years of college, I'm the heaviest I've ever been. And I'm quite sure I'm at the most unhealthy point in my life.

I've never been the skinniest person though. In fact, the lightest I remember my scale ever being was 157 when I was a senior in high school. And then I was suffering from depression issues, so I never want to be at that point (mentally) in my life again. In sixth grade, I went into the school nurse and I remember I weighed 198 pounds. I really should have gone to fat camp early in my life. Even at 198 pounds, I was able to drop those 40 pounds to my lightest weight my senior year and I truly believe I can do it again.

I've had enough of my terrible lifestyle. I keep trying to make a change, but it never sticks. Two weeks ago, I joined Weight Watchers and have already failed miserably at that. But I won't give up. I'm finally going to stop TALKING about getting fit, and instead just get fit. At my weight, I shouldn't have a problem taking off the pounds if I just make a few lifestyle changes.

So, here are the changes I plan to install this week:

1) Cut back on the alcohol.

I'm not going to completely give up alcohol because I like it a great deal. But I'm going to make healthier alcohol choices. i.e. Vodka with diet tonic or low-cal beers. And I'm going to cut down on my portions!

2) Start working out again.
I'm done being a lazy piece of shit. I bought INSANITY a few months ago, so I'm going to stick to that plan.

3) Follow the Weight Watchers plan.

I like Weight Watchers because I can eat what I want as long as it's sensible. So I'm going to stick to that plan.

I don't want to make any huge changes right now, but just a few changes along the way.

Life after college is going to be a healthier life. I promise!

This is me at my skinniest senior year of high school.

And this is me a few weeks ago.